with Relationship Sexpert Larry James
Detailing Foreplay
(For Men Only) - Part II
Larry James
Women want to feel close to their lover BEFORE they begin making love. This is number one!
Talk to her. Hold her. Acknowledge her as a person. Women do not like to be suddenly thrown into bed
only to have you roll over on top of her, grunt a few times, come and roll off again.
Foreplay must begin before you get to the bedroom. She needs to be valued for her inner beauty.
She needs sincerity. She needs to know that you respect her feelings and are not just after instant gratification.
She longs for the attention you used to give her when you were first together.
After you get to the bedroom, she wants and needs foreplay. . . lots of it; no less than 20 to 30 minutes
of it!
The secret to achieving mutual satisfaction is making sure SHE receives satisfaction first, before you
begin making love, through whatever arousal patterns she needs - by stimulating the clitoris with fingers,
oral sex or a vibrator.
Few things can arouse a man and give him sexual confidence than watching her come. Let her be your guide.
To raise the level of sexual intensity, whisper words that are likely to cause your lover to become hot, wet
and eager to make love. It's okay to talk while making love. You can arouse passion with words. Paint a
hot, steamy picture of what you will do to help her more playfully and passionately enjoy the moment.
Learn to make love with your voice. Tantalize. Be descriptive. Don't hold back. "I love to make love
with you."
Softly massage her breasts. "Your nipples are getting hard. I love the way your breast fills my hand."
Circle her nipples with your fingers. "That feels good, doesn't it?" Got the picture?
If you know your lover well, you know how far you can go. Words, softly spoken, can tweak her hot
buttons - even without touch. They can raise the arousal level to a point where there will no longer
be a need for words, only the quiet colliding of two hot bodies exploding in orgasm together.
Learn to use your mouth for sucking, tugging, stroking, licking, nibbling, embracing, fondling, gently
gnawing, caressing, as well as kissing.
Touch her with your mouth. Slow down. There is no fire to go to. You are already there. You are creating
the flame.
Give her one of those deep, wet kisses where tongues flicker and hearts beat wildly and time stands still.
Women love an abundance of kissing before, during and after lovemaking, when bodies are toe to toe, knee to
knee, chest to chest, fingertips to fingertips, nose to nose and even head to toe. It helps to make the
sexual experience complete.
Use other parts of your body to give pleasure, too. . . not just your penis. She is destined to become an angel on fire!
Hang out at her bikini line for awhile, then move south for further exploration. Stir the ashes with
your tongue. Steamy, smoldering passion lives there. Be discriminating.
In a healthy love relationship, if you do not last very long during intercourse, it's not the end of the
world, particularly if you were in slow motion during foreplay and made sure there was extensive attention
to "her" needs.
To many women, actual penetration is not nearly as intimate or satisfying as extended periods of foreplay.
Most women feel slighted, hurt, frustrated or bitter when their lover only attends to his needs by being a
two-minute wonder.
Engaging in longer, more varied sexual sessions can lead to higher levels of arousal, deeper levels of
intimacy and a stronger sexual relationship. Never stop exploring. Do not settle for the familiar.
When it comes to incredible sex, emotional connection counts. That takes some time. Doing your best
to make it last for her so sexual pleasure is extended is great. However, it can often backfire. Too long
and you may miss YOUR moment; you hold back and delay too long and you wind up with a desensitized penis
that quits before you are ready.
When she is content, and you are coming down the home stretch and you accept the inevitability of ejaculation,
it's okay to turn selfish for 10 to 17 seconds while you have your own orgasm.
Never get on just to get off and then roll over. It may test you a bit to become a lingering lover,
one who basks with your lover in the afterglow.
Know this. Women want intimacy, the kind of intimacy that is more than in and out! There is a strong
need to know she is loved, to be wanted. She wants to be your very special lover. She knows this when you
take the time to cuddle after making love.
She knows this when you pause to touch her where she wants to be touched. A brief and gentle shoulder rub
or softly running your fingers through her hair in a very intimate gesture lets her know, too.
Tell her you love her. Whisper that being in a committed relationship with her is the most incredible
experience you have ever had. Put how you feel in your own words and speak them aloud.
Never just roll over and go to sleep. That is always a mistake. It always will be.
After you have made love it is infinitely wiser to spend some time with her. It's true that actions often
speak louder than words. Be an active demonstration of who you are for her in your relationship.
Lay beside her, spent. Hold her. Stay. Be with her.
When she speaks, really give her your undivided attention. Listen. Fall asleep in each other's arms.
"Wham! Bam! Thank you, Ma'am!" doesn't work! It never will.
Never fall asleep without saying, "I love you."
Pay attention to the little things outside of the bedroom and whenever two creative minds choose to play
together your sexual needs will be fulfilled.
Your passion and your commitment to a love relationship
capable of inspiring great sex can fuel your imagination and keep the fire of love burning.
The reward? A gracefully feminine, benevolent angel given to the purpose of generously lavishing you
with pleasure.
Foreplay: Is it worth it? Think about it!
Copyright © - Larry James. Adapted from the book, "Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers."
• If you would like to talk
one-on-one with Larry James about relationship issues related to this article, you are invited to arrange for a
private coaching session by telephone. Go to Personal Relationship Coaching
for specific details.
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