with Relationship Sexpert Larry James
Why Is It Difficult for Women to Reach an Orgasm?
Gabrielle Moore, Guest Author
According to reports, roughly 70% of women don't reach an orgasm during intercourse. Although that figure in itself is shocking, it also makes
you wonder about how many women never orgasm at all (i.e., intercourse or not)!
A lot of flack fall on men on why women don't experience an orgasm but truth be told, women have a lot to do about this as well whether they
realize it or not.
6 Reasons Why Women DON'T Climax
There are many reasons why women don't reach sexual climax. Some of them maybe men's faults but a lot can be because of her too.
Foreplay? What foreplay? Foreplay is extremely important. For women, making love begins in the mind and if you don't 'condition' her mind for sex,
then chances are she won't be sexually reciprocating in bed too. Furthermore, women really do need more time than men to reach an orgasm; so foreplay
is actually your way of extending your own sexual stamina.
She's thinking too much! Women are natural multi-taskers. Unfortunately, they're so used to thinking and doing several
things at the same time that they find it hard to simply be 'in the moment' during sex.
If most men can be very 'in the zone' during sex, women seem to have various thoughts running through their heads all the time (e.g., home chores that
need to be done, kids' homework, dirty laundry, etc.).
She's full of insecurities. Women have many body image issues. While you may adore her, her mind is probably worried about at least three different
things as you undress her: Is the light revealing any cellulite? Are my 'love handles' protruding? Does he think my breasts are too small/big?
If body image anxiety is not in her head, then she may be thinking about things such as "I didn't shower yet, I hope I smell good especially down
there.", or "I didn't pee. I hope I don't embarrass myself."
ALL these thoughts are making her focus on the wrong things! It's taking attention away from sexual pleasure and into sexual insecurities. And when
a woman is in this mode, it's almost impossible to her focus on reaching her own climax!
She really doesn't know her own body. There is a certain art form to making love to a woman's body. It really does have a lot of mysterious curves,
spots and turns. Sadly, many women don't indulge in a lot of 'self exploration' when it comes to sex. As such, it's hard to guide you on what makes her
feel good or which techniques really turn her on. And really, if she doesn't know her own body, how can you be expected to instinctively know what brings
her pleasure, right?
The best thing is it's never too late to learn! Why don't you BOTH explore her body? Don't rush anything and try everything. See what turns her on
best and use that knowledge to make her reach her orgasm. Make it your sexual quest! However,
here are some clues to save you a few steps.
YOU're not paying attention!
True, men are not mind-readers. Unfortunately, many women are not great communicators in bed as well so we have a little problem here. Compounding
this problem is of course that favorite female bedroom habit of 'faking orgasms'. As a result, YOU think that what you're doing is great when in reality
you may not even be close!
To solve this particular problem, try to develop a certain 'sexual code' between you two. For instance, a slight squeeze on your arm means "You're
doing great! Please keep doing it!"; while nails on your skin or arm mean "enough of that!". You will receive more squeezes, however, if you know some
important facts. Click here to learn more.
YOU're changing 'techniques' too fast.
Men like to try different sexual positions and that's great but sometimes you may be changing just a bit too fast. Women need to get accustomed to
a certain 'rhythm' before sexual pleasure begins to climb. If you keep shifting positions, she will either (a) never find the position that brings
her an orgasm, (b) lose the sexual pleasure she was experiencing in the previous position or (c) be so frustrated that even if you go back to the
same position, she may not be that sexually aroused again. So keep this in mind: when it comes to female orgasm it's not just location, location,
location it's also about repetition, repetition, repetition.
Hopefully this list of potential reasons why your partner is not reaching an orgasm paves the way for discussion between the two of you. Don't
focus on why she's not reaching an orgasm. Instead, focus on what you guys are going to do, so that she does reach her climax. That's a more positive
approach and lot more fun too! Learn creative and easy ways to do it here.
Copyright © - Gabrielle Moore. Visit her Website, click here.
• If you would like to talk
one-on-one with Larry James about relationship issues related to this article, you are invited to arrange for a
private coaching session by telephone. Go to Personal Relationship Coaching
for specific details.
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