with Relationship Sexpert Larry James
SEX. . . Who Has Time!!!
Paul Mauchline, Guest Author
Of all subjects that are discussed in the world each day, sex without a doubt is the leader. Each day I talk to
people about bringing more love into their lives, improving their relationships, and the importance of learning
how to keep love in their lives.
Those that attend my workshops and visit my web site are interested in learning about these things and I
applaud those individuals who want to better themselves. There is one element though that does not change during
one of my seminars or someone visiting my web site -- the discussion always eventually leads to sex and the web
surfer goes to the sex section of my web site seeking information.
Here are a few of the most common comments that I hear from people:
- They have no time for sex.
- They miss not having sex.
- They want to know how to improve their sex lives.
- They ask for ideas of how to find time for sex.
- Sex has been missing from their relationship and they are looking for ways to bring sexual intimacy back
into their relationship.
In my preparation for this article I wrote down a number of titles based on this subject:
- Sex & The Married Woman
- Sex & Marriage.... What Sex?
- Making Time For Sex
- Marriage & No Sex
- Whatever Became Of Our Sex Life?
- When Did Our Sex Life Disappear?
- Sex... What Is That?
- Married With Children... Who Has Time?
These are all acceptable titles, but based on what I am hearing the real issue today for so many is:
Sex. . . Who has time!!!
Here are some of the comments I have heard of late concerning this hot topic.
"By the time I get to bed, I'm exhausted. Feeling this way continually, day in and day out does not
leave much time for my spouse. The other day it dawned on me that I couldn't remember the last time we had sex."
"I know that everyone says to just make a date-night, but it is hard to follow through on that concept."
"Sometimes, it seems that my spouse and I are more like friends, than married, because we spend so much
time maintaining our family, but not our marriage."
"Whenever I read advice telling us to go out on a date, I laugh! Who has got time? Or the money?"
"I can't even find the energy for sex. I really feel bad for my spouse. And then I think it is so sad
that I may have lost my desire for sex."
"After we have sex I always think wow that's great lets do that more often. The truth of the matter
after working all day, making dinner, doing chores, giving the kids some attention and putting them to
bed -- there just isn't any time left."
"Four hours on a Saturday night just isn't enough time to regain it when you are already tired and
just want a little peace and quiet."
"I want lights out at 10:00 p.m., and that is usually when my spouse starts trying to, get it on. Sleep or Sex?"
"There just is no time. . . My husband is a patient man, but I am not sure he will wait 16 years till
our youngest is independent."
"I am 37, and I have absolutely no interest in sex. What I really want at the end of the day is an
hour of peace and quiet."
"I feel sorry for my husband because he takes it personally and thinks I am not attracted to him."
"I was just thinking the other day if the time will ever come that, I could give sex more than 10
minutes of time before falling asleep."
"I am not as interested in sex as I use to be, especially after having three children."
Hearing these and so many comments I have to pose the following questions.
Why is it that so many of us cannot find the time for sexual intimacy with our partners?
Why do we get tired to point of exhaustion?
Why do we loose interest in sex?
Why does sex have to be a feast at the beginning of a relationship - and then famine over - time?
Why would anyone want to give up one of the most beautiful expressions of love that one can give
to themselves and their partner?
I could go on and on with questions about this issue, but I have to say bluntly I don't buy this
lack of time excuse. I also don't buy this I am tired excuse. Quite frankly I do not buy any excuse
unless it is a medical problem when it comes to little to no sexual intimacy in a loving relationship.
Sexual intimacy with someone you truly love is one of the most beautiful experiences you can share
together. I fail to understand why so many of us deprive ourselves from such enjoyment and pleasure.
We have all heard about having date nights weekly, get-away weekends, afternoon encounters, etc.
We all honestly know what we have to do in order to get our sex lives back on track. I feel what it
comes down to is making the effort to improve the lack of sexual intimacy in our relationships.
Unfortunately in so many cases when someone lacks something like sex in their lives, they in many
cases will seek it elsewhere. The end result to this lack of sex is affairs that damage and destroy
so many relationships and families each and every day.
My advice to all is throw away your excuses and become more proactive in your relationships. As
I tell everyone love requires, confidence, concentration, discipline, imagination, and practice daily.
To put it simply -- "Love Takes Work & Effort." Making a loving relationship grow and continue to
flourish requires time with one another.
Make the time, and make the effort to truly reap the rewards of a rising loving sexual relationship
with yourself and with your partner.
Copyright © - Paul Mauchline. Reprinted with permission.
Paul Mauchline is an internationally published writer, and lecturer.
As Founder of The Art of Loving Institute he leads workshops and seminars
in ³beautiful by nature² Providenciales, Turks & Caicos Islands, located in
the Caribbean, and throughout North America.
The Art of Loving Workshop provides you with the skills you need to create
a successful, loving relationship.
www.ArtOfLoving.com
• If you would like to talk
one-on-one with Larry James about relationship issues related to this article, you are invited to arrange for a
private coaching session by telephone. Go to Personal Relationship Coaching
for specific details.
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