var num = Math.round(32 * Math.random());
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document.write ("Sexy Bumper Snickers
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document.write ("Refresh the page for another Sexy Bumper Snicker!")
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if (num == 0) {
document.write ("I have a computer, a vibrator, and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
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}
if (num == 1) {
document.write ("Save Your Breath... You'll need it to blow up your date!
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}
if (num == 2) {
document.write ("Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
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}
if (num == 3) {
document.write ("The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
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}
if (num == 4) {
document.write ("Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
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}
if (num == 5) {
document.write ("When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?
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}
if (num == 6) {
document.write ("Please tell your pants it's not polite to point.
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}
if (num == 7) {
document.write ("GUYS: No shirt, no service. GALS: No shirt, no charge.
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}
if (num == 8) {
document.write ("Impotence: Nature's way of saying. . . No hard feelings!
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}
if (num == 9) {
document.write ("Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
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}
if (num == 10) {
document.write ("I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
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}
if (num == 11) {
document.write ("If you don't believe In oral sex. . . keep your mouth shut.
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}
if (num == 12) {
document.write ("Who lit the fuse on your Tampon?
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}
if (num == 13) {
document.write ("If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong!
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}
if (num == 14) {
document.write ("I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
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}
if (num == 15) {
document.write ("Will work for food. Will beg for sex.
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}
if (num == 16) {
document.write ("Practice safe sex. Go screw yourself.
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}
if (num == 17) {
document.write ("Learn from your parent's mistakes. . . use birth control.
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}
if (num == 18) {
document.write ("If you smoke after sex, you're doing it to fast.
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}
if (num == 19) {
document.write ("My kid had sex with your honor student.
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}
if (num == 20) {
document.write ("The way to a man's heart is through his sternum.
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}
if (num == 21) {
document.write ("The problem with sex in the movies is your popcorn usually spills.
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}
if (num == 22) {
document.write ("Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
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}
if (num == 23) {
document.write ("A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
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}
if (num == 24) {
document.write ("100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
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}
if (num == 25) {
document.write ("I know you have a thing for me, but why is it so small and deformed?
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}
if (num == 26) {
document.write ("Most men would respect a woman's mind more if it bounced gently as she walked.
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}
if (num == 27) {
document.write ("Nine out of ten men who have tried camels prefer women.
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}
if (num == 28) {
document.write ("Of course I believe in safe sex - I've got a handrail around the bed.
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}
if (num == 29) {
document.write ("A hard man is good to find. - Mae West
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}
if (num == 30) {
document.write ("Zero to naked in 6.2 beers!
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}
if (num == 31) {
document.write ("Ignore the weather. Make love in the rain.
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}
if (num == 32) {
document.write ("Not tonite dear, I have a modem!
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}
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document.write ("Copyright 2011 - Larry James")
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